Seth Meyers: ‘Easier to list the crimes Trump hasn’t committed’ | Late-night TV roundup

Seth Meyers

On Late Night, Seth Meyers spoke of the “assload of legal trouble” that faces former president Donald Trump even as he remains the favourite for many Republicans to lead the party again.

He spoke about how in a Fox News interview with Sean Hannity, Trump “fully disintegrated into a sweaty red-faced rambling incoherent mess” and he continues to have “the confidence of a man who is ready for anything while being prepared for nothing”.

This week also saw the New York attorney general, Letitia James, announce a $250m lawsuit against Trump and his family for “staggering fraud”, listing a long number of accusations. “At this point it would just be easier to list the crimes Trump hasn’t committed,” Meyers quipped.

He moved on to the interview with Hannity, playing footage of Trump saying he can declassify documents with his mind in response to the FBI raid that found boxes of classified material at his Miami property. Meyers said that he seemed to think it was “like calling dibs” and that his process implied that his newest legal adviser is Tinkerbell.

The justification would also rely on Trump being “capable of thinking about things” although a judge would “rule that there’s just nothing going on in there”. Meyers compared Trump to “an emu who just found the zoo camera”.

Trump also claimed the FBI might have been looking for Hillary Clinton’s emails at his residence. “Even Hannity had to jump in and stop him,” Meyers noted before joking that it would make a great twist. “Even M Night Shyamalan would have been like, ‘Hats off,’” he said.

Stephen Colbert

On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert said with excitement that for once “something means something” after an appeal led to the “super top secret” and therefore “super top illegal” documents at Trump’s residence being deemed admissible as evidence.

“It’s happening: actions have consequences,” he said.

In response to Trump’s assertion that documents can be declassified with his mind, the appeals court said that it was a “red herring”, which Colbert joked was “also what the former president calls a Filet-o-Fish smothered in ketchup”.

In Trump’s interview with Sean Hannity, he also claimed that they might have taken his will, which he now cannot find. “You know things are going well when someone says I was looking for my will yesterday,” he said.

Colbert also addressed Trump’s bizarre suggestion that the FBI might have been looking for Clinton’s emails in the raid. “That is so crazy, he confused Sean Hannity – and Sean comes pre-confused,” he said.

Trevor Noah

On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah also joked about Trump’s belief that he can declassify documents with his brain. “He couldn’t even read documents with his brain,” he said.

Noah joked that in court, his lawyer would say: “The defendant pleads Jedi.”

The host was also dubious, as declassifying documents without saying they were declassified would be out of character. “That would be the first time in his life that Trump has thought something and not said it out loud,” he said.

Noah noted that “the FBI is going to have to raid his brain for evidence”, and joked that his brain is mostly full of bikinis. Trump has “a superpower that only applies to documents”.

He also spoke of Trump’s claim that the FBI was actually looking for Clinton’s emails and Hannity’s befuddled response. “Even Sean Hannity is like, ‘Wait sorry, I’ll roll with you but I don’t understand,” he said.

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