The 10 Most JRPG-Arse Songs To Grace The Weather Channel

Some might say the best way to predict the weather is to look out your window, but thanks to modern-day technology like The Weather Channel, we can check the weather with ease while listening to bomb-arse music that sounds ripped right out of a Japanese RPG soundtrack.

A viral post made the rounds on Twitter this week showcasing a very “JRPG sounding” track from the Weather Channel. Don’t believe me? Listen to this storm alert track and tell me it doesn’t sound like a Final Fantasy song. As Motherboard’s senior Janus Rose so eloquently put it, “it’s giving Jenova.”

Turns out, aside from playing instrumentals of famous songs like Sublime’s “What I’ve Got” and good ‘ol Christian bible jams like “Silent Night,” the Weather Channel has been bumping a plethora of legit JRPG-sounding tunes for viewers’ listening slash weather-appraising pleasure.

With the help from The Weather Channel Classics, a website that compiles info on Weather Channel music selections dating all the way back to 1983, I’ll be composing a little slideshow forecast of my own of the 10 most JRPG-sounding songs from The Weather Channel.

Storm Alert Boss Fight

First off is the song from the viral tweet. Turns out this little jingle was The Weather Channel’s storm alert back in ‘06. Aside from sounding like a Final Fantasy boss tune, this track is giving me major “exploring the grim techno city at night” vibes. I’d reckon this track would fit perfectly in a Parasite Eve game.

Untitled Bop #1

The introduction of this track sounds so whimsical and pleasant that it could have come out of either Chrono Trigger or Kingdom Hearts. Apparently the track was good enough for rapper Truman O’Doherty to use as the backing track for his song “Kombucha Lean.” (Great name, btw.) But once those drums kick in, this weather track transitions into a song that could’ve been the rough draft for Persona 5’s “Phantom” theme before Atlus composer Shoji Meguro decided to turn that menu theme into a bop you could bounce your booty to.

Untitled Bop #2

Moving right along, this next track sounds like the kind of groove you’d hear whilst navigating through the dense populace of Shibuya in an urban JRPG. I’d say it has a Persona or The World Ends With You vibe, which is A-OK considering I’d most likely be frustrated as hell trying to avoid missing my train to school while rocking to this jam.

Night Wind

Imma be honest, any song I’ve heard from Ryan Farish on The Weather Channel sounds relaxing as hell, which is probably why his discography is ever-present in The Weather Channel’s tracklist. Farish’s song “Night Wind,” in particular, sounds like the kind of song that would play while exploring a mystical forgotten city illuminated exclusively by fireflies. Good stuff.

Perfect Storm

Stephen Arnold’s “Perfect Storm” cranks things up a notch by serving as the Weather Channel’s 2004 storm alert track. Now I know some purists are gonna come for my mentions for trying to justify mentioning this track that sounds like it snuck its way right out of Metal Gear Solid in this story about JRPGs, but hear me out. Sure, MGS isn’t a JRPG, but I’d reckon it counts as an ARPG. What’s an ARPG you ask? An American RPG. Hoo-rah. Considering Hideo Kojima is an Ameriweeb, I don’t think he’d take offence to the term. He can throw it right next to “strand-type games.”

Metameme

First off, the track is called “Metameme,” and it’s by a band called Sound Tribe Sector 9, so that’s already JRPG-sounding right off the bat. Mayhaps this tune would play in a cyberpunk-esque video game in which you stumble across a society of sewer-dwellers with faulty neuro implants?

Attack Engine

My guy, this track by David Robidoux is literally called “Attack Engine.” Some intern working at The Weather Channel must be doing this on purpose, as why else would they play a track that sounds like you’re infiltrating a secret military base while you’re being informed that it’s gonna rain in Champ’n, Illinois? The midwest truly is a landlocked battlefield.

We Three Kings

David Arkenstone’s song “We Three Kings” sounds regal AF, doesn’t it? It gives Live A Live vibes, y’know, for that unlockable Middle Ages route where you live out your Game of Thrones-type political fantasy. Or it could play during Stranger of Paradise while Jack Garland is giving his mates sad fist bumps when they don’t find, and kill, Chaos.

Icy Blue

Who cares if it’s 90 degrees in Tampa, Florida? 7and5’s chill-arse track “Icy Blue” was bringing the cold front into Yellowstone, Wyoming, back in 2006. Unusually for The Weather Channel, this track actually has an element in its name. Good job, guys.

Severe Weather Boss Fight

Who’s to say a severe thunderstorm can’t have a badass boss theme? Imagine it, you and your crew are on your last legs and you’ve got the giant dragon stunned. You might have to sacrifice your defender in your next turn, but the follow-up attack from your spiky-haired protagonist will slay the wretched creature…you hope. This is basically the music that plays in my head when I contemplate wearing my Carhart jacket and my Parka before braving the chilly streets of Chicago.

And there you have it, dear reader. I await The Weather Channel original soundtrack release date with bated breath. In the meantime, I’ll be listening to this person’s remix of The Weather Channel’s storm alert theme on repeat throughout the day. Toodle pip.

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